He’s so f*ing H-core, seriously. This guy’s head can stop deers in their tracks from a mile away! ... which he then ignites with his laser eyes—instant deer jerky!

He has ninja powers so 133+ you can’t even see him… at night… in his black clothes… in the shadows. And he can creep up on anybody (wearing their iPod turned up to full volume).

His code is faster than a speeding bicycle!
He walks stealthier than a great big man in heavy steel-coated boots!
And his poetry is more poetic than a fistful of eyeballs.

You should hang out with him and share a fried tofu sandwich sometime, it’s awesome. WORD